Bored....wrote down some 16 bars.......rate it?

hum, 7 outta 10, this is ok, I liked it but for the lines to be so long their should be some more multi's in the middle just to increase the flow cause by the time I got to the rhyme at the end of the line I forgot what it rhymed with. you definatley got lot's of potentioal and if you just wrote this downing from being bored when you take the time to trim it up, it'll be alot better, and even though lots hate on imtheman, he's kinda right it'll be hard to put over a beat. keep posting dane don't mean to be too hard on you.