Why should I continue living?

To state the obvious -- you are in conflict. This internal conflict is manifesting itself in several overt ways. However, many of these physical manifestations are causing even more conflict. What you need to do is quiet the chatter and get to the source of the conflict. There is a part of you that needs to be tended to. My recommendation is a few sessions with a psychologist -- not a psychiatrist. In my experience the latter has been a bit too quick with the prescription pad and do not spend enough time looking for the root of the issue. If that is not the case here, then stick with your doc -- you'll get there. You have emotionalized desire to change and that is usually a good first step.